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Suddenly the entire set starts to rotate around me and my insides begin to melt.I feel like I'm trapped inside a Transformer which has just woken up.

Just how good my Chinese is (or isn't) Part of my motivation for becoming a British Council Language Assistant was to learn Chinese.Most of the talking was done by the host, Meng Fei, and two co-hosts, Huang Lei (an actor) and Huang Han (a psychology professor), on whether our personalities were compatible.This might conceivably have something to do with the matchmaker figure in Chinese legend, 月老 (Yuè Lǎo – the old man on the moon), a god who joins couples in marriage.On the show, it looks as if I could speak fluent Chinese.In reality, this was an effect created in the editing room, and nearly every question I was asked had to be either repeated or translated into English by one of the more experienced foreigners on the show.From the wide-eyed (and occasionally crying) children to the endless requests from strangers to take photos with you in public places, just leaving the flat is often enough to make you feel like a minor celebrity, albeit a slightly uncomfortable one at times.There isn't always a fairytale ending I have just got back from my free holiday in the Maldives.In imperial times, there was a go-between in traditional Chinese marriages, who would act as negotiator between the two families involved, a bit like an estate agent.Although things have clearly changed since then, it's still common to hear talk of 条件 (tiáojiàn – conditions) in connection with relationships, as though dealing with a contract.My chosen date asked me on camera to say 我喜欢你 (Wǒ xǐhuān nǐ – I like you) to her in English.In my anxiety I said ‘I love you’ – something I honestly never thought I would say on Chinese television to someone I’d just met. The matchmaker is still important in China One of the strangest things about the show was how the contestants (both Chinese and foreign) were given very little time to talk to each other directly.

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