“If something doesn’t work out, you can find an immediate replacement in the swipe of a finger,” Flores says.
The cons of this trend for women are pretty obvious, but one pro is that it lets you find out quickly who is willing to put in the effort to win you over, Flores says. Well, for one thing, she says, “men are denying themselves the opportunity to really get to know someone.” While we wait for them to realize this, women don’t need to sit around lamenting the digital revolution and resigning ourselves to poorly worded texts and afternoon lattes as long as we’re single.1.
Guys on these sites probably aren’t dating just one person at a time, so they might be trying to fit as many quick meet-ups into their schedule as possible.
But, Flores says, brevity is an enemy of intimacy: “If something is seen as brief, it’s no longer seen as valuable.” So my Bumble guy probably wasn’t too heartbroken that meeting me didn’t pan out since he probably had other coffee dates lined up.
These stories implied the guys wanted to pull out all the stops to show they were worthy of a woman’s time and attention. Why do women in 2016 now need to find love in Starbucks during an inconvenient 20-minute coffee break or prove ourselves before we’re upgraded to real silverware?
We don’t live close to each other, but he’s routinely in my area for work, so I’d suggested we meet for cocktails or dinner before his nightly ride home. During the week, he’d text me randomly that he might be done with clients on the other side of town at 4 P. that day, and could I grab coffee with him for a few minutes then?
Make the Rules Flores advises that we first take ownership of the role we play in the state of modern romance and move on from there.“Women have made it too easy,” she says. One thing women don’t know is that men don’t understand why we make it so easy.
They get bored.” Flores says men often become fascinated by women with high standards, especially when, in their experience, other women will give in and just go along with what they want.
We had no idea The Rules would become a bestseller…
we just wanted to help women stop making mistakes and get the men of their dreams—and that’s what we still do now, 20 years later!