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Amazingly this direct approach works well – he instantly gives me his number and, much to the annoyance of the friend I’m out with, we chat for 45 minutes. Effectiveness – 9/10 – If you’ve got the guts for this it’s a winner 8) I approach a blond basketball player called Tim and motion him away from his gang of five mates. We have a very brief chat but he soon tells me to enjoy my night and goes back to his friends, the poor lad.

‘Excuse me, would you like to play an alphabet game?

He laughs, says ‘wow, that’s a hell of a line’ but admits he has a girlfriend.He looks confused, says he doesn’t like football and is more of a rugby man.I admit I don’t like football either but the damage is done and we leave soon after.You can read the transcripts of all our completed web chats - click on the links to replay.Some people get a little weirded out when they hear the word "counselling." That's OK.Sick of internet dating, I asked the landlord how I should go about chatting up men in real life.Before I knew it, the whole bar was suggesting chat up lines for me to try out.Effectiveness – 2/10 – Only use this if they’re wearing a United shirt and you give a crap about United. 7) I spot John, a smart-looking bloke with a buzz cut chatting to an older group of guys in the smoking area. I’ll give you A, B and C if you give me the D.’ I can’t believe I’ve said this to a total stranger and, once he’s stopped laughing, he tells me it’s awful then changes his mind and says he gives it 8 or 9 as a line. Men are amazingly forgiving when it comes to being chatted up – no one gave me a hard time. Go out as a trio rather than a pair to try these out so, if one of them works well, the other isn’t abandoned. It takes guts to chat someone up, especially if the person you like is in a group of friends, so maybe don’t be so brutal next time someone approaches you. It doesn’t really matter what you say as long as you say SOMETHING – staring wistfully at a hot guy / girl won’t get you anywhere. Effectiveness – 10/10 – Tip: You probably don’t really have to love their shoes.6) We’re in a sports pub, with footie on the big screens, a dart board on the wall and testosterone rising from the beer-spattered carpets. I sidle up to Simon, dark-haired and with an impressively neat beard, while he was playing pool.

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