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He’s decked out in armor and has a long sword slung casually over his shoulder as he looks off to the side, as if to say, “I’m too cool to look directly at the camera.” Evidence suggests this type of photo is very attractive to online daters.

According to Ok Cupid’s data crunchers, “Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile.” And then there’s his one-sentence About section: “I’m banking on your standards being a lot lower than mine.” Playful, self-deprecating, and original.

Some bored person on the web created a Zoosk profile for Superman. In the Story section, the comic book superhero explains, “Long story but let’s just say you better be ready for a love affair that’s out of this world.” Under movies, Superman writes, “Action. His perfect match has alliteration in her name, and his ideal date is anything not involving Kryptonite.

No word on whether Lois Lane has a profile of her own yet. Take it away, Sydney: “The only reason I want a boyfriend is so that when I’m singing Fergalicious and it’s at the part where she says, ‘I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness he’s my witness’ I can point to him and he’ll do the little ‘woo OOH’ part because right now I have to do both parts by myself and it’s stressful.” Sydney makes them boys go loco.

By the way, she also claims to hate bicycles, beaches, sunshine, and parks. In her dating profile, Rosefacekillahh describes a nightmare scenario that will scare off most, if not all, potential suitors.

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Reddit gushed over Taylor’s Ok Cupid profile photo of himself in ladybug shirt (which he made) against a ladybug backdrop. He boasts an 80% response rate to his messages on Ok Cupid. The average reply rates for men hover more in the 30% to 50% range according to Ok Cupid’s internal data.In just three paragraphs, Jake shows his creativity, spontaneity, and flirtatiousness. Here’s an example of a hypothetical story on a dating profile going bad — hilariously bad.Rosefacekillahh, from Melbourne, Australia, warns online daters that she’s “not down to earth at all” in her Ok Cupid profile’s self-summary.I enjoy [activity] with my friends or watching [popular television show or movie] on my own. Of course, writing a funny and attractive dating profile is no easy task.I’m here to [hedge and say you want to meet new people], and I’d love to [flirtatious invitation].” C’mon, guys, you’re more than the sum of your Netflix queue! To give you some idea of how it’s done — and how it should never ever be done — we’ve compiled the 13 all-time funniest dating profiles out there.These side-splitting online profiles can be witty, crazy, or just plain stupid, but at least they’re memorable. A lot of guys paint a picture of their ideal date — dinner, movie, makeout session, etc.But one 22-year-old single took this trope to ridiculous and glorious levels on his dating profile.Jake describes picking his date up in his Kia Sorento with lit candles in the car.He even writes out the banter: “You go, ‘…Is that dangerous?Then she explains in vivid detail what will happen if you don’t answer her texts.“I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o’clock in the morning crying and trying to break in.” Points for honesty?

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  1. Oct 8, 2006. I'm allergic to online dating. Ergo, this site was born. Welcome to my spoofy bachelor blog of hilarious real dating profiles gone awry. A dating site like no other - where relationships are never discussed and rooms are reserved for the grammatically insane. Names and locations have been changed to.

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